the big 10

Today I feel very blessed to of made it to 10 weeks, our little nugget is getting bigger and bigger. We got to see him/her kicking and wiggling around looking annoyed that it was being pushed around by the ultrasound wand. My husband and I are totally in love already…

It was emotional walking into the OB’s office, seeing other pregnant women and talking about my pregnancy like it was the most normal thing.  It was an effort to keep back the tears and to listen what the doctor had to say.

She unfortunately informed me that I am too high risk for the hospital she is affiliated with and I will need to find a doctor associated with St. Marys Hospital instead.  I appreciated her honesty but am so sad she will not be able to deliver our baby.  So this afternoon I am researching for a Maternal Fetal Doctor.  Hopefully I can find someone today and get in ASAP as I would like to have the Harmony screening and NT done within the next week if possible. And also need an appointment with a cardiologists, pulmonologist and my hemotologist during each trimester. Glad this is all happening early on so I have some time to organize everyone!

My loving sister just mentioned she has a hospital grade fetal doppler that she is sending out to me. It’s a good thing that Jet.com STILL has not delivered the one that I ordered over a week ago, which will now be returned. It’s too bad she got rid off all of her maternity clothes, that would have been handy too. If we end up having a boy she mentioned she has saved some cute items from my nephew, she is so sweet!

*On a side note I’d like you all to know I am thinking about all of you ladies out there still struggling for you little bean, those with recent pregnancy announcements and some of you that have delivered your little miracles.   You are all in my heart and I pray for you that your dreams will come true and that you stay strong through your journey. Infertility never leaves you, the pain of our struggles and our past losses will weigh in our hearts forever.

We have graduated from our RE to the OB

Today was a little bittersweet as it was my last visit to the RE’s office.  I was of course really excited to see what was going on with our little nugget. Ultrasound showed that our little guy is measuring a few days ahead at 9 weeks and the heart was beating at 180bpm which I guess is great!

My RE told me to keep in touch and to come visit throughout my pregnancy. It was sad to say goodbye as I feel we have gone through so much over the past few years. But in the same moment I am excited to able to be a little more normal and go to the OB’s office from here on out.  My 10 week ultrasound is scheduled for next Wednesday which will be a big milestone for my husband and myself.

Here is our latest US, looks more like a jellybean!

As far as symptoms go, I have been nauseated off and on and am still very gassy!  My nose seems to be stuffed up constantly and I have had some food aversions.  My stomach looks like I am 5 months pregnant but its just water gain and bloat!

My husband was away for 5 days and I had to do the PIO injections for the first time which was a little nerve-racking but I survived!  Our clinic only has us on the PIO injections and estrogen patches until our tenth week and I’m looking forward to know have these two drugs in my life anymore.

I’m still a bundle of nerves and hope these subside a bit after the 1st trimester!

6 weeks 6 days along

And our little nugget is growing a little bigger each day..

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I have to admit that I was having doubts about this ultrasound, even though I have not bleed or had bad cramps. I guess after loss this can happen, where you start to doubt if you will ever get your little miracle. But today I was proven wrong, today i got to see our little nuggets flicker of a heartbeat and it was amazing!

It’s hard to believe I will have to wait another two weeks until I get to check-in to see what is going on inside. The doctor was very impressed that the bub is measuring only one day behind at 6w5d and that all other measurements looked great to him. He would like me to stay on the PIO injections and E2 patches until 10wks and after that I will be released to my OB for the rest of the pregnancy.

Now I would like my moodiness to go away and for the negative thoughts to follow. As far as my other symptoms go, I have had extremely itchy legs and my blood sugar levels seem to be off. My breasts don’t seem too tender anymore and I have not felt sick since last week and I am not as tired feeling as I was before.

I also have to admit that i have become an invert unsocial gal these last few weeks.  Im terrible at keeping such an exciting secret and most of our close friends and family know that we have been going through IVF. So I am now trying to avoid telling them that we are pregnant as my hubby thinks this will jinx the pregnancy like the others if we tell anyone… So I am now avoiding everyone so I don’t spill the beans “by accident”. Thank goodness for this blog, otherwise I might just burst!

6 weeks today

Today marks the start of my 6th week of pregnancy and it seems nausea is in full force and my triggers seem to be food and needles.

It all started with making chili last night, I was doing ok until I had to put the ground beef into the pot.  Then again this morning while giving myself my injection, I was very close to hugging the toilet after that. It does not seem as bad at the moment but I am still feeling queasy and the thought of food is putting me off.

We have a friend coming over for dinner tonight and I hope I make it without being sick!

5 wks 5 days

Today marks 5 weeks and 5 days along in this pregnancy and I thought I would keep track of my symptoms.

Breasts: Slight tenderness when poked (still slightly freaked out that they don’t hurt like before), have slightly gotten bigger so I have started wearing a sports bra as I don’t want to purchase larger bras until I am further along.

Nausea: A few times after meals or while giving myself the Lovenox injection but so far nothing too bad. Have noticed my sense of smell is getting stronger which doesn’t help with nausea.

Tiredness: I feel sleepy after meals and in the afternoons mostly. Sleep solidly throughout the night which is a nice change.

Bathroom Runs: Seem to be normal at this point, still looking at the toilet paper for blood every time I wipe (sorry for the TMI).

Strange Aches and Pains: I get this dull pressure under my left rib and I am not sure if its caused by gas? Sometimes feel small stomach cramps but not often.

Bloating: Throughout the day, it makes me look 5 months pregnant and super gassy

Other Strange Symptoms: My facial peach fuzz seems to be turning into a full on blond beard!

Mood: I seem to have no patients for my poor husband, hoping this goes away sooner than later! Have moments of doubt that this pregnancy will not stick and other moments where I want to tell everyone that Im pregnant. It’s still a rollercoaster…

Food Cravings: Haven’t had any as of yet but when I am hungry I have to eat right away..the hunger pains hurt like crazy.

PIO Shots: Husband has been doing a great job with doing my butt injection each evening. The injection sights are supper itchy and sometimes they sore but its nothing too bad.

Feeling like this is the 2ww all over again, except this time I cannot POAS to confirm everything is going well.  Just have to keep my mind occupied until next weeks ultrasound and hope and pray that our little guy keeps growing and staying strong.

 

Paranoia

My paranoia started yesterday when my boob soreness went away and I started wondering if we where losing this pregnancy like our past two pregnancies. Of course I could not help myself from using Dr. Google which is always a bad idea but all those stories out there just keep you searching for more.  I believe I used to be a sane and calm person before all of this…

So of course I broke down and emailed my RN with my concerns knowing it would be too early to see much on an ultrasound.  Can I just tell you how much I love the ladies at my RE’s office!  She called me right back and said I had every right to be concerned and why not stop by the office this afternoon for a scan before the weekend.

This definitely got my spirits up!  All the ladies are so welcoming as I came through the door (I’ve gotten to know them quite well by now).  They took a urine sample, weighed me and took my BP (which was high). Then it was time to strip from the waist down and get up on that lovely table with stirrups.

Dr. came in with a big smile and asked how everything was. She also reminded me how after having 3 pregnancies herself the worry does not go away.  She got right down to business and found the sac instantly!

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Today I am 5wks and 2 days along and so far everything is looking good, thank goodness! I feel so much better after seeing the sac and yolk sac this afternoon. We still have many more hoops to jump through along this journey but will be praying that this little nugget sticks with us through the next 8 months.

Every time I post, I think of all of you going through the same struggles. Know that you are in my thoughts and heart, I pray everyday that all of you will get your miracles sooner than later. Thank you for being my support group through all of the ups and many downs xo.

Could this be our Miracle..?

Could this be our little Miracle baby, is it too soon to be so hopeful?  Today was my second beta 14dp5dt and it came back at 2811 which the doctor said is fantastic and there is no need to have a third beta done.  I have to admit that I am cautiously on cloud 9 right about now.

The RN also called to schedule the ultrasound on May 31st which will be the day before my 7th week so fingers crossed they see the sac, fetal pole and hopefully a heartbeat. It will be another difficult two weeks with worry and doubts because who am I fooling, this is what happens after dealing with infertility and constant upsetting news.